college football and the 7 deadly sins [or, why I love college football]

It really isn't a secret to those who know me that I'm not really a religious person. With that said, I was driving around my new town observing the university stickers on cars. With us living in Georgia now, we are back in the heart of the Southeastern Conference and there are plenty of stickers adorning cars. I found myself feeling pretty smug when I drove by cars with Georgia stickers. Unhealthy amounts of pride? Check.

I saw an Alabama sticker.. insert envy and a healthy dose of wrath.

Oh my goodness. I am a walking, talking consumer of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Stick with me on this. It will be pretty hilarious.

Here's how I figure..

Lust: I sin twofold here. Lust is defined as being partially sexual and those guys on the field in tight pants check that box. Sorry to break it to you, but Campbell's soup isn't the only thing that is "mmm, mmm good."

The other part of lust [per Aristotle] is love and primary devotion to someone other than God [i.e. God is secondary]. One need not look any further than Tim Tebow's reign as quarterback of the Florida Gators to know that thousands of people raised him to God-like idolatry.

from GQ's oh-so-appropriately named "Does God Have a Tim Tebow Complex?"

Gluttony: One needs to look no further than a college football tailgate to see this in action. Beer and other adult beverages everywhere. Food galore. And that's only the tailgate. The crowds swarm to the stadium to gorge on gridiron battles for another 3.5 hours. Yum.

Let's just say that our annual matchup against Georgia is so gluttonous, it is known nationally as "the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party."

If that is sinning, then I don't want to know what is right.

Greed: I cheer each and every point that we rack up in a game. I have eagerly anticipated the weekly release of rankings with hopes of climbing one more spot [or more realistically, holding on to #1 -- there's that pride again...] ;) If the Gators are #2, it just isn't good enough. We want #1.

Sloth: The aforementioned gluttony on Saturday = sloth on Sunday. Even activities on Saturday can be chalked up to sloth. A typical Saturday in the fall for me consists of getting up around 9, showering and getting ready for game-time festivities by 10. Lay around watching ESPN's College GameDay from 10 until noon. Begin gorging on football games at noon and do not quit until the last down around midnight. See also, gluttony.

Wrath: You only need to stand next to me at a Gator game or next to me on the sofa watching other games to know the kind of wrath I have in my heart on Saturdays. I yell for legs to be broken [not really meaning it, of course], asses to be kicked, and any other number of inappropriate things.

Wrath, for me, extends for years. I still hate Michigan for beating us in the Outback Bowl almost 10 years ago. I hate the Georgia 'Dawgs for stomping on our endzone in 2007 [although we've made them regret that every year since..] I could go on and on.

More recently, another team has been added to the list.

Alabama.

Which leads me to the next sin...

Envy: I am endlessly envious and jealous of Alabama's success last year. Despite the Gators having a fairly extensive reign for the past few years [greed, again, I know], I want it all. I wanted that to be us. Instead of being fully satisfied with our utter slaying of the Cincinnati Bearcats last year, I kept thinking that we could of been playing for the championship. College football is a sickness, I swear.

Pride: When we lived at Fort Drum, there was an Ohio State fan that lived in our apartment complex. Seeing his Jeep in my rear view mirror made me go into fits of grins and giggles. This is because when he was behind me, he was staring at my University of Florida sticker. Hopefully being reminded of their 41-14 beatdown in January 2007. Or at least that is how it plays out in my head.

So in order for keeping myself from looking like a complete heathen [oops], I'm going to wrap things up there. Seriously though, I love college football almost as much as I love the Florida Gators. I will cheer for my SEC brethren [if only in hopes of increasing their ranking so that it looks better when we beat them..], but play favorites when it is an intra-SEC matchup.

Here's hoping we Gator fans don't pay for our sins this year.