I have been having a really hard time with this move. I think tonight I've really pinned down why.
See, when something bothers me, it never seems to manifest itself in a normal way.
When I'm mad, I start to compulsively clean.
When I'm stressed, I have an overwhelming urge to bake.
I made 27 cupcakes. Hrmm, what category does that fall into? Granted, they are for the going away fiesta we're throwing tomorrow, but that's another story.
I have been stressed and pretty cranky lately. I've gotten more and more organized in regards to the move, which usually makes me feel better, but I still end up feeling out of control.
Last night we had dinner with a friend who came home at midnight on Sunday from his deployment to Iraq. He and my husband became really close in Ranger School. After close to ten months of random correspondence, I finally got to meet him. And say goodbye.
All in the same night.
It hit me -- I've been acting crazy and feeling out of control because I am not ready/not dealing well with saying goodbye to all of the amazing people I have met here.
I've been avoiding the fact that I feel like there isn't enough time for me to adequately say goodbye to everyone I love and care about so much here.
I loathe saying goodbye. I've already said goodbye once this year to all of my friends and coworkers in DC. My then roommate/one of my best lovahs and I spent a good 10 minutes in our living room embraced in a hug sobbing our eyes out and I just can't do that again.
Yet, I realize that I will see many of my friends here again in a couple months. I don't want to say goodbye to them.
I don't want to say goodbye to the friends that, at this point, we don't know if we'll ever see again. I try my best to remind myself that this is a small Army and chances are that we will cross paths again. I get mopey though, thinking about the things that you don't see in a phone call -- like the way a particular friend here smiles when she laughs -- it just warms my heart. How one of our guy friends can always be counted on to drink some Red Cat with me. Our "family" time around the bonfire on lazy summer nights.
I could go on and on.
Those are the kind of things I will miss -- but are the things I will remember forever.
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18 comments:
:( I'm so sorry this move is so hard on you! Goodbyes are never fun... but let's be honest. You aren't the type of girl that just sits in the location you end up in. You love traveling, so I know you will find ways to see the people you care about... one way or another!
So far I've really only experienced this when I graduated college (a few months ago), but I'm sure it will happen in the future with the Army too. I guess much as moving is "normal" with the lifestyle it will never be easy to leave good friends and community!
Hoping that now that you've figured it out, it will be a touch easier!
I'll miss you! I hope I feel much better tomorrow so I can come out to your soiree :) And sorry I missed Bingo, too :)
i hate goodbyes too :(
The good news is that as long as people don't get out of the Army, you really will see them again. We left Campbell, and two people from my bookclub high tailed it here after me!
Also, true story:
When I was in elementary school I lived in North Carolina. My parents had two sets of really good friends. Then we moved to South Carolina, one moved to Japan, and the other stayed in NC.
YEARS later, all three guys retired. My parents moved to Texas. A year after that, the family who moved to Japan moved 1 mile down the road from them. A few years later the NC family moved to Texas. They all now work for the same company outside the Marine Corps...it only took 15 years but they are all three together again.
Seriously, it's a small world (I have more crazy stories like this)it's not goodbye, it's see you sometime down the road!
Well I'll see you in about 4 months, unless I become a runaway and get down there early ;)... You will end up seeing these people again, always an excuse for travels. There's always blogging, email, texting, cell phone, good ole fashion letters, all these great things to keep in touch.
I'll definitely miss our workout conversations and seeing your face almost every day of the week, (def was weird after spending 24/4 with you for our trip to then not seeing you for 3 days...). SKYPE IT UP!!! until I arrive at our destination!
Awww... Turn that frown upside down. I know it's hard but it's not good-bye, it's see you later.
Goodbyes are never easy. :( I hope you start feeling better. I also bake when I'm stressed not such a good combination ;)
you almost had me crying. i had to skim over some parts to prevent the tears. i'm almost as bad and our move is still 3 months away. i just try to not acknowledge it...
ugh.
I went through all of these emotions last year when I moved across the country, it's never ever easy. But remember the ones you love are just a phone call, or a plane ride away. And if you haven't tried it, you should look into getting a camera so you can video chat/skype with your besties, it's so much better than talking on the phone!
Saying goodbye is NOT fun at all. I hope you get through it okay, I'll be praying for ya.
"I think that is so true. Just knowing that someone cares and is there to listen means so much!"
Thank you so much for taking the time and posting on my blog! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to follow you back. I am following you now and can't wait to start reading :)
I'm sorry that this move is so hard on you! Goodbyes are always hard to do. Thankfully with the technology there is today, there's always facebook and your blog to keep in touch with people. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
www.life-itssomethingbeautiful.blogspot.com
Oh girl, I feel your pain! I don't know if there's a cure for it except to muscle through. And know that the distance doesn't make people love you or rely on you any less.
Did you ever think you would be so sad to leave the North Country?? When we left, we were lucky because all of our good friends were PCSing to the same place at the same time. But it really is a small Army! Even so, this is the part of Army Life that 100% sucks!
just think of it as a see ya later, not a good bye!
The Army is small! You'll see them again. It doesn't make it any easier, though. :(
I'm with you. I couldn't be more excited about our move in Dec, but I am really sad about the friends I have made here. I wish we had more time together. I wish I can take them with me and we can continue our good times!
Saying goodbye will SUCK! :(
Hopefully, it's a see you soon and not a good bye! Hang in there!
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